Need some help from the DB community! Crunch Time!

[cbtdad]

Real quick background. W and I separated 1/2013 and reconciled in 6/2013
less than 3 weeks ago she hits me with she wants to separate and "reboot" things. We go to MC next day who we have been seeing for the last few years. We agree to in home separation and move in to guestroom. She hasn't worn wedding ring in couple of months either. Lately I start getting real suspicious that there me be an EA or PA going on. Some similar signs to last time, but she denies of course. I do think a lot of it was in my head since last time.
Over the last couple weeks we have been getting along for the most part a lot better. She has said numerous times that she isn't angry anymore and shes in a better mood because of it.
we are still working out together, watching shows, etc.
She even brought up this morning about me going to her work banquet with her.
I bring up relationship stuff way too much and I know this. I need a 2x4 big time on that. All this time I couldn't get the possibility of someone else out of my head. So I snooped. I couldn't get access to her phone, but I did have access to her ipad. I was able to link her ipad to imessages and now see some of the messages. After seeing messages I am 90 percent sure that she is not in an EA or PA. Still could be, but doesn't seem like it. BUT............ I did see a text a couple of hours ago which was the following:
W: "I'm miserable. And don't want to be married anymore but terrified to say that. And terrified to do it on my own."

Friend: "You're not alone"

W: "I feel shitty not giving cbtdad another chance"

Friend: "How many do have to give before you say you're done? I'm not telling you to get a divorce. I'm telling you that you need to think about what you want"know

W: "I don't know"

Friend: "if you want to be single then tell him"

W: "The whole thing is terrifying. Staying and leaving"

Friend: "But if you want to give him another chance you need to"
Friend: "And you need to try too"

W: "I just don't know if I ever really loved him again after the last time"



That was the last text I saw. We are going to see MC on Wednesday. My guess is she is going to tell me this there.
I know I have to shut my mouth about any R talk between now and then. I've got to detatch.
Last time I DB'ed it seemed easier since I was away from the house. Although I must say it took me a while to get there. I was a wreck for a few months after the first bomb. This time I feel like I can handle the divorce or separation a lot better, but it still wont be easy
It's not what I want. There are time when I don't feel in love with my wife and I worry she cant make me happy, but I do love her. I do want it to work if it could.
I know for me more than anything I need to give it all I have my 6 year old. I want him to be in a happy home unlike I had when I was growing up.
I need some 2x4's and advice from this board.
Ive got to keep my mouth shut till Wednesday no matter what