Getting out of in house S (9)

[SH_]

Hi vise,

I have experienced the anger of the WAW as we go through the process with the L's.
The thing that has helped me over the past several days is realizing that they have a dream, and it is more based in emotion than details and facts of a S or D proceeding. Early on I found myself trying to take care of the family, my kids, my WAW and myself. I had a friend that D his first wife a number of years ago and he felt so bad that he made an emotional decision and basically gave away the farm. 14 years later he is still paying a heavy price for this.

I made it clear to WAW that I would not make emotional decisions in the process because it was important that all was fair for the future. She agreed, but as the reality of the details come out, she has gotten increasingly angry, spews about everything negative under the sun, and has made some horrible accusations. It hurt, it hurt a lot, but after the outburst this past week, it is almost as if a switch was flipped for me. I am no longer responsible for taking care of her. She chose to leave the family, she did so under an emotional pretense. And she did so without getting factual details of what a D process would be or look like. As her L explains the facts and details she spews at me about how I can do things different than the law says if I chose to do so. This is her effort to manipulate and guilt me I realized.

Anyway, so I do not ramble on, my advice to you, is try and stay focused on taking care of your kids and yourself. She will need to take care of herself. Giving into her will not make reconciliation any more or less likely.

Stay strong, evaluate your convictions and remember, you are not responsible for her, her reactions or her desires. She fired you and she is leaving the family unit. This can help you feel more confident when having to have the S talks with her.