Feeling less confident than at the beginning of the week but work has been stressful, my kids and my dog have been waking up in the middle of the night a lot so I'm really tired! I'm also annoyed as H doesn't get any if this and it's not fair!
In 6 weeks I'm due to move, so took kids to see new house and they loved it! I was a bit concerned as everything is ready on my side but the guy whom I'm buying from hasn't played his part. So I bluntly told him that I needed to move by a certain date or my kids and I will be homrless! Well not really. He is no chain like me, so now it should run smoothly. I don't think I have become best buddy with solicitor because I'm on there case pretty much every day! Usually I'd be panicking but not yet!
I have started to do done clear out and I have now reach the point where I don't want to take hardly anything from marital house, so little by little I'm selling things. I want/ need a clean break!
I have been kind of NCish with H (apart from wedding) and just slight change but I think it's pure coincidence. Two days ago he texted he'd be late so booked sitter so I could go out, when I was to leave house guess who turned up and asked me if I was ok, I said yes and left without looking at him at all. The kids told me that that night as soon as sitter came back, he was gone ( didn't put them to bed, not read them a story like he has been doing lately). Then tonight he came way early to pick them up and it's the first time in ages that he said say bye to your mum!
I'm not reading too much into it. H is still living with OW, still happy with his life and so far no consequences. I was looking back and there were .twice where I lost it with him but other than that I think I handle it quite well. I met OW by mistake and told her she could have him. I didn't vent against her on FB ( ok I vented to my friends and H's sisters), I have stayed clear of his relationship with her (apart one time when he didn't pay). So actually he hasn't got much of ammunitions against me to say to OW as I don't speak to him, stood my ground when it came to financial business (which he didn't like).
All this might have sent him the message that I didn't/ don't care about him ( he used to tell me that I was cold towards him and that why OW is better than me), but actually why should I care for someone who cheated on me for so long, who forced me to kick him out of our H as he was back with OW. He doesn't deserve to be treated kindly or me to be friend with him when I didn't ask for any of this. He'll never show any regrets and I'm not/ no longer part of his life and I don't think I'll ever again. Nothing I can do about that anyway. Life moves on, so must I!
