She's actually been very open about everything that is happening since I found out. But this week, she went out with OM on Saturday, came home earlier than I expected. The next day she told me that it wasn't as fun as she thought it would be spending the afternoon with him, and that she needed to end it with him. I let myself get sucked into the thought that maybe it was truly going to end and we could start working on trying to pick up the pieces.
For the next couple of days her behavior event changed, she wasn't trying to hide her phone, she wasn't staying behind closed doors, etc. Then on Wednesday, I got home, and she said she had something to tell me. Turns out the OM called her and asked if she could help him pay a bill, and she gave in and gave him money, told him it was a gift. Since then her behavior is reverted back to hiding her phone, pulling away from me again, etc.
I know this is going to be a roller coaster and she needs to figure it out. I think her gut is telling her she needs to end it with the OM, but doesn't want to deal with it. My gut is that she is hoping it will just fizzle out on it's own and she won't have to deal with it.
I have told her that I'm making sure I'm ready to move on if that time comes, and that I won't sit on the sidelines to be her back up plan while she is figuring this out. I know she's afraid that if she ends thing with the OM and I move on, that she ends up alone, so I think she is clinging onto what she sees as her only viable option to be with someone (by keeping the OM in the picture).
Anyone experience this before? I'm focused on taking care of myself, but at the same time, don't want to see her set herself up for failure like this.
Thanks all!
lfm,
My WW did the same thing. She was open with me that she was dating. This really worried me when I first found out. My stomach was in knots. She manipulated me into trying to reconcile and did not respect my boundary of dating so I took action with my sitch. She wanted to be the ultimate cake eater. As soon as I did that she filed for D.
One of the rules is do not believe 100% of what they say and only 50% of what they do. Lesson learned for me.
You don't want to see her set herself up for failure like this? Do you really feel you are responsible for her actions?
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
