LBS back--piecing--but still regret not DB

[ciluzen]

Ditto on the favorite threads. Thank you, Blu for starting this and for sharing your experiences and what you've learned and thank you to everyone else for your contributions to the thread. It really is a good one.

And as for S projecting or mirroring, I agree. Back when I had R talks with H, I got sick of my H constantly telling me how I felt when I had decided to only validate his feelings and be an active listener. He kept telling me that I didn't like him and that I "had left the marriage first" as if that made it ok for him to stop working on our M, turn his attention to other women, and spend money barely covering our household expenses on what "made him happy". So, I broke protocol.

I asked him, "what if you were wrong, and I've loved you deeply all along?". He stared at me for a bit, then said, "Well, that would make me sound like a real a%#hole." Ding, ding, ding! Good thing he believes his story about me not loving him. Who wants to face being that which they don't like? I didn't point out out that it made his behavior pretty bad even so, since we are still married. My tongue still has scars from how hard I was biting it.