Ups and Downs (III)

[JulieH]

So my son had a meeting with a social worker at school. Tonight he asked me "when are you and daddy not going to be married anymore? ". And then he said to me "you will always be my mommy and daddy will always be my daddy" and then asked me

"can you get another daddy so I can have one that lives with me?"

This made me sick...

Obviously I feel horrible that my son will not have a traditional family to model. Especially hard for me because in my life it's always been about family. I will feel even worse if/when husband does move to other state. I am so dissapointed in my husbands selfishness regarding son.

I know it's also every future man in my life's worst possible nightmare. That I would be trying to get a father for my son. That they would have to take care of another mans child. But to hear my son ask for that was heart breaking... I wish my STBX could hear that.

I am also well aware of the " market value" the single mom has. I have heard stories about guys dating them and then down the line (probably when the sex loses its excitement) Using the excuse that they are not looking to take on that responsibility.

I feel vulnerable in this role as a single mother. I never expected it for me and I feel my son deserved so much more.

I know I am looking at this with a lot of pessimism. I know that all men are not like that. But I am realistic too.