Why is Raven black?

[ciluzen]

I am taking your advice, Job. I will sit quietly when it comes to H. I will work on me and figure out who I am.

Tonight, however, I'm going to 180 something. Back around Christmas, I decided to try to forgive Bubbles for her part in this mess. I apologized to her for locking myself in my room at our vacation home often during get togethers (mostly her friends). I explained that it hurt me to watch my H, who I loved very much, gravitate toward her as he was distancing from me. I apologized for any animosity she might have felt from me. She said she felt NONE; that she just thought I didn't like her friends that she invited up. There was never an apology. I never brought up the fact that I knew she spent (at least) most of a weekend alone with my H. After much thought later, I decided I was through being nice and acting like her friend. She either didn't know or didn't care about her behavior. Something was wrong with her. Either way, she was no one I wanted to continue a friendship with.

So, H called this morning to let me know that he would be at the house helping one of her friends (someone he seems to enjoy) borrow our tractor and loading it onto a trailer. Old me would have stayed in the house and not interacted. New me is going to go out and be friendly; offer to help even. Why not be friendly to someone I supposedly "didn't like" (I was very nice to everyone she had brought up). And then I will go on doing my own thing after they are gone. I have a lot to do, after all.

Also, H informed me awhile ago that he is going down to visit his brothers and parents next weekend. When he told me, he explained that he was very stressed as his brothers had a falling out and don't speak to each other. He was worried about offending one by spending time with the other. He's such a middle child- always trying to make everyone happy at his own expense. His achilles heel. It should be an interesting trip for him. I wonder if he was trying to transfer the stress about seeing his parents (mom's alzheimers) to something more "acceptable"? Who knows.