Staying the second time around

[cbtdad]

Cbtdad, and/or anyone else who has rebuilt with WW spouse...

This topic intrigues me, because I am dealing with a WW spouse, and although I honestly believe that I can forgive her, I don't know how I could ever trust her. In my case she joined volunteer firefighters and had an A with a firefighter who works at the station she is assigned to... When that pager goes off, they report to the station and could be gone anywhere from 30 mins to 6 or more hours... Every time she got a call, I would wonder why she's not back, did she go to the scene, or is she with him after they cleared the station...

Hmm, although I want her to quit I never really thought about that part... It's like an F'n dinner bell... Hmm, I have been on overload today, never really thought it all the way through, not sure I could deal with that...

Hmm, well no big decisions yet, but I seriously gotta think this through.

Coconut,
This was the hardest part for me and obviously still an issue for me. I was able to forgive by realizing I had a part in the affair as well. the firs time around I was so lost and left her so open to an affair it wasn't even funny. I realized I basically pushed her into the arms of another man.
The A stopped at the end of May in 2013 and we started reconciling in a few days later. In retrospect that was way too soon. I allowed the feelings I had for her and my 3 year old to pull me back in quickly. So much so that I didn't even flinch a month later when we decided to move.
the first couple of years she was an open book and transparent as it got. In June of 2015 she started in the EMT world. Paramedics,Firefighters, all of them are known to have rates of infidelity because of the stress of their jobs and spending so much time together. When that happen I really started having that anxiety again. Checking her phone, checking phone bill, facebook, all the snooping you could think of. Well here we are now and as you know I suspect something is going on
I could forgive again, but I would never trust her again.
that's the problem. I think to me is I got burnt once so hurt, that there is no way I could do it again.
I'm assuming if im correct its someone in the paramedic or firefighting realm.
In that regard you are totally correct. Last night she worked 6pm-6am and told me she was working with her friend Stacy. I want to believe her but Im not so sure since she had a phone call with Stacy I saw on phone bill at around 9:40 for 6 minutes.
Wife said Stacy called her while she was in hospital waiting on transport
While I want to believe her. Its hard. The reason I want to believe her is she could of just picked anyones name that she was working with. So no reason to say Stacy if she wasnt, especially since I know Stacy
But that is huge problem for me because working overnight shifts with guys all night, etc
So already having the trust issues I do, there is no way for me it could work
Im in the same boat with you. Just gonna take my time and not do anything rash even if I find out for sure