GAL going well. Need help with LRT and 180

[bigybiz]

Rose888:

Thanks for your post and that's a great question. My own personal DB/DR strategy has been to let everyone know that I'm/we are going to be great no matter what happens. I've been doing everything I can do on my own (I think)

Where I struggle is on the issues that she has to be involved in e.g. $, kids programs, summer camps, major house improvements, etc.

I've tried the casual, informal i.e. "Here is an idea... what do you think? Almost no response - or she says "I'll think about it and let you know".

I've tried - why don't you take care of these 3 things and I'll take care of these 3. She won't do her 3 and we miss the deadline, the kids suffer or I just go ahead and make the decision.

I've tried - Firm and direct with some things. I'm taking the boys away skiing next weekend. Any issues? Do you want to come?

Limited engagement from her. As it is she feels that I try and control her anyways so I can't be too firm that it seems like I'm taking over.

I tried the emotional - "I want us to work together, This is hard for me, etc." Initially she suggested we meet everyday so we could make it a habit. - but it's not been a habit and I have to say. Why are you making me nag you to address these things.

So I need some fresh ideas. We need to talk about house improvements, new purchases, our kid's summer plans, etc. If we don't make the plans we will be in trouble and up against the wall, She is reluctant to do anything. I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't.

So this is my most pressing issue.

I've read and reread DB and DR. I've not tried undressing if she won't participate - but that could be next.

My DB coach said she is confused and does not want to think too much about the future. That does not help me if the summer camp spots are filing up.

There you have it Rose888 and anyone else who can help.