WW confused about the future.

[excile101]

I felt that after months of coldness and avoidance, she suddenly started to show interest. She became closer to me again and we were able to talk like old times. It was all positive until she discovered that I had been in the house and called the police.

That is what really got to her, the police, as it is something that would hold her accountable unlike me who backs down all the time.

I went to the house because I wanted to spend some time there as I feel happy there and the alternative was being alone in a room that is not my home. She wasn't even there so it's not like I was hounding her.
I know what sandi said and I appreciate that now may be the time to implement her advice. I cannot continue to one day be ok and the next be at the receiving end of her belittling anger.

She is now not communicating with me and I am not initiating any contact. I'm sure she will contact me at one point to arrange seeing the girls. I need some time to get some sleep, all this has taken it's toll on my health.

She spoke of a "new friendship" that she thought we had before I did what I did. She now just thinks that I am a deceitful and spiteful person that doesn't know what friendship is. She has really hit me hard as I thought things were getting better. Maybe I'm over optimistic.

I believe that I am addicted to her in a way. I read the advice given to me on this thread but feel I can't stay away from her. I just like being in the house with her and the kids and experiencing what once was. It is probably slowing down my recovery but it's a good feeling even though it doesn't last long.

I guess I need to take this situation as an opportunity to detach from her but I am struggling. I relied on her so much that I don't know anything else.