It's been a little bit since I've posted. I've been busy Galing and getting settled in my new place. Tonight is a momentous occasion.... Tonight I am sleeping in MY bed. I haven't slept in a bed since I moved from my home in June. Up until now I've been sleeping on a raggedy old mattress on the floor.
When I first moved, I didn't want any furniture because my sitch was temporary. There was NO WAY that H and I weren't going to pull through the separation. He wanted space and I was giving it to him, it was a "trial" he said. It was so unbelievably hard, but I never lost sight of that goal of reconciliation. I took the time to work on me so I could re-enter the marriage stronger, more confident in my abilities, and more loving..... But...h decided instead of working on himself like he promised... Instead of keeping his word that it wasn't about wanting to see other people... He dated.
He didn't even try.
I feel foolish and am crying as I type this..... Just feeling the loss as i officially lie in my new bed. It's very symbolic in a way.... No past loves here, no ghosts, just me. With that comes no hope for a future with h. It's gone... All gone.
Sorry for the jibber jabber... I awoke from my sleep flooded with emotions and am just getting my thoughts out.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
