Sotto - the issue of closure is an interesting one.

Being up close and personal to MLC the way I am, personally, I think the best we can do is come to terms with the fact that our spouses have suffered serious mental issues/breakdowns. How much can we expect of a person who has a serious mental disturbance?

Very well said that, as with most things with MLC, whatever we may need, we must provide. We are the ones with our faculties still in tact, after all.

Regarding your h's comment that he hopes you would see he is a genuine guy, I see that astounding MLC entitlement in that comment. I heard similar. My h said the most hurtful and selfish things to me in that letter he sent me. And in it he wrote that it all had to be said as he couldn't live a lie anymore. Seems they are so lost to themselves that they feel entitled to pounce on whatever it is they want with the intent of "being true to themselves."

How much can we expect from a person whose mental problems cause them to be fundamentally selfish?

Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced