Working on detachment, my anxiety, and the joys of limbo

[Phoebe]

Thank for the encouragement, Sotto. Cherry, you are hilarious!

So I just got back from the BAN meeting. It was good and awkward. Good in that it really was nice to meet people, not hear the "kick him to the curb" thing, and to talk with others that had been through their own difficulties. What was awkward was that it was in a community room, so no food or drink for distraction, and at first it was just me and the group coordinator. Luckily, a great lady showed up after about 20 minutes, and then it was so much better. Don't get me wrong, the coordinator was nice, too, but I felt like I was under a microscope.

So one of their stories was a good one, in that after a year of being gone that wayward spouse came home and is working very hard to repair the M. The other one didn't work out, and there is a lot of anger there.

I did get an incredible and genuine hug from the woman who came, and that was really welcome. She said she remembered how little physical contact she had during her year alone and that she knows how much she needed it. She's so right. My parents aren't touchy people, so one of the things I am missing a lot right now is human touch.

They both commented that I am doing well for someone so early in this process, but I surely don't feel like I'm doing well. I guess my brave face disguise was working.

So, anyway, it was good and I'm glad I went. I just hope there will be more people next month.

Sleep well, my fellow insomniacs!