Only you can know exactly what is best for your situation. The rest of us are just having a quick peek into your life. I know 1 month feels like an eternity but it is nothing more than a blip on the radar in the span of the rest of your life. Going dark is a technique for a reason. It allows the other person to begin to "miss" you and it also gives you the opportunity to spend this time working on YOU. You are very much focused on him right now. I know you feel like you are detached but you are not. Until you are, you can't truly begin to work on your own issues. You need to know for yourself that you CAN go on in life without him. We know you don't want to. None of us want to lose our S. But you need to know that you can do that if you have to. Once you know in your heart that you are capable of that, you will transform yourself into a strong, confident, self sufficient woman. Right now, you are weak and CoDependent. Which do you think is more attractive? Which do you think he is most likely to want to return to? Sorry for the tough love but people don't come here so that they can be told to live in a fantasy world. They come here to save their R's. That's what we are trying to help you do. Focus on YOU LandC. That's how you save your M.
THIS UP HERE!
LandC, it is up to you to listen and make the changes, and no one can do that for you. I get the sense you just want H back and will do whatever it takes for that to happen. Maybe DB is not for you, but just know that you are going to go back to the same patterns. I get the feeling you think that if you do all the research and put a lot of energy into examining your sitch, that that will bring your M back.
In reality, having a healthy M comes from breaking codependency, being a stronger more independent person, and lastly having an H that recognizes this too and is committed to making his own changes. It is not possible to accomplish that in a month.
We are telling you this because we read your posts, we see all the same patterns, and this is not the best thing for you. I hope you will listen so you can have healthier and ultimately happier Rs!
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
