Strange day. Was desperate for some human contact, warmth and positivity. Went to my part time job and it felt like people were avoiding me.
I know it's just my mindset at the moment, but I felt really lonely and isolated from the world at that point. And one of the reasons I love my part time job is that I work with some really great people and it's a very sociable job too...I get so much back from it usually.
One of my colleagues! I know her from another job years ago and I met her H a couple of times too. Well, a few months ago she told me they'd split a good while back after a very, very long M, and that he had been the instigator of the split. There was another person involved. We were chit chatting a bit today and she was commenting on my newly dyed hair. I made a very gentle joke about life and making changes for the better. I could feel the utter rage in her, just coldness. I don't want to be like that.
So tired at the moment. I can't believe the amount of energy it takes to keep this wholething going and moving forward in the direction you want it to go (GAL, etc).
It feels like the minute I stop trying really hard and giving it my all, I just sink back into something that's really unhealthy for me.
Feel like I'm carrying some sort of millstone round my neck at the moment. And I don't think that D will make it go away either, it's one of those things that you actually have to keep going through, and keep pushing forwards, isn't it?
