I think the move has forced me to be very active - organizing, finding a job, establishing all new providers, shop for stuff I need, etc. It's probably a blessing in disguise.
Today's thought is: Cheating is not something that just happens. It's a choice, a very deliberate and completely conscious choice to disregard your vows and betray your partner.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
The major change of scenery must be good, too. I love my farm, but there are triggers lying in wait for me everywhere I go, and in everything I do. I don't want to be anywhere else, but it's a struggle sometimes.
Your thought of the day is spot on.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Ah your thought for today is interesting. Soon after BD one of the things my H said to me was that the lying was the worst thing that had ever 'happened to him' and it was such a relief to tell me (BD.)
If I'd had more wherewithal at the time, I'd have called him out that lying doesn't happen to you - you choose to lie.
Sounds like you are keeping busy with stuff Painter - and probably no bad thing as you say.....good luck with everything x
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto, I notice your H's statement was all about him still... It reminded me of an episode with H:
Years and years ago, I had arranged a big surprise birthday party for H. I planned it for weeks.
Driving to the restaurant where he thought we were going to have a small family dinner (MIL and the kids were in the back seat), he lit into me because I hadn't gotten him a cake and I knew how important that was to him. I was taken aback because I didn't know that a cake was so important, but just smiled and said, 'How do you know I didn't get you a cake? It's not even dinner yet.' He said he knew there wasn't one in the fridge at home. (A friend had taken a huge cake - H's favorite - to the restaurant earlier in the day.) He kept chewing me out the entire drive, and MIL and the kids sat dumbstruck in the back seat.
Eventually, after greetings and surprise reunions with people he hadn't seen in years, and dinner, the cake was carried out. He looked at me and said quietly, 'Boy, do I feel stupid.' It was still all about him. I never got an apology or anything else.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
The level of self-absorption in the stories here is incredible. My H has thrown out some whoppers, too. It just reinforces my feeling that I don't know who he is these days.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Perfect thought, Painter. I'm going to try it, too.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Rough night. Had nightmares about H spending money on ill-advised business venture (happened in real life and was disasterous), then locking himself in bedroom, skyping naked with OW on a tablet that had pictures of another OW (that OW1 didn't know about) as a screensaver slideshow. Don't know why I didn't break the tablet over his head in the dream... But I told him to his face that he was a despicable human being. Then I tried to salvage the business fiasco.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
I am so sorry you had such a horrible dream. The weekend is almost here. I hope you get some time to relax and enjoy the simpler things in life.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
Decent day today - fortunately had an early appointment at doggie day care so got my mind off the dream. I spent my dog-free hour getting some legal paperwork notarized and mailed off to H (signed over our home to him, but I've been processing it emotionally for a week so it was not as bad as I feared). They had a book sale at the library where I made copies, so picked up a few of one of my favorite authors for 25c each!
I found something in the car that H had paid for and would have to pay to buy again if it was lost - so included that. I mentioned it in an e-mail about some other stuff but he didn't acknowledge it.
Also setting up some new office equipment at home that is working better than I hoped - very happy with my purchase!
It's a warm and sunny day and I had lunch on the deck. Just enjoying small, everyday pleasures.
My son is taking me out for dinner on Sunday (Mother's Day), and has investigated carefully to find a place I will enjoy.
Today's thought is to focus on the good in my life and not dwell on the sad and hurtful.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
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