But, I'm a bit confused by Cadet's reaction to your question about your H's bday. Conventional DB wisdom, usually geared toward the LBS tells us to give the WAS space and allow you (WAS), to temp check and initiate instead of letting the him (LBS) do that.
And I'm also a bit concerned with the advice about not worrying about his feelings and that he probably won't remember what you did down the road anyway. As an LBS whose bday just passed, H reached out to me to temp check and ask what I was doing and that kind of let me know he has a heart and is thinking about me and knows how special it is to spend those days with him (we also went out to dinner at another one of our favorite places back in Oct. for his bday). Although it took a slight nudge to let him know that I was open to the idea, he ultimately did come over and take me out for dinner and we had a delicious time. Yet, like you, he is still unsure of what he wants to do and thus, the limbo. I think you're worried about giving him the wrong impression or toying with his emotions, just like my H.
Not sure what your H's deal is but we LBS's are constantly on pins and needles when we react to you so please keep this mind. And it seems like you're in a unique position where you are both the WAS and the LBS....
I may have made an error in my advice as I was merging this thread with the main thread and did not go back and read the whole story over.
I understand where HopeRB is coming from as my advice was more geared towards an LBS and MLC spouse. Someone in MLC is unlikely to remember things that happened during that time period. So kind of emphazises why it is important to stick with one thread and not start new ones.
I still think that the best course of action is for Robbity to figure out why she is a WAS and what she can do to FIX herself. When that part is complete then it will be better to work on a new relationship. Not now.
