WAW still angry, moved out, D on the way?

[Vanilla]

Sadhub

There is something I need to tell you.

The things your WAW is saying are projections of how she feels about herself. Know that when another accuses you of something then it is themselves they accuse, if they accuse you of being mean, greedy and uncooperative they accuse themselves.

Be very careful your WAW is very angry and she has a serious issue developing. The anger is really at herself and she is projected outwards unless it destroys her.

Please cease engaging until this anger is unlocked and she sorts the cause of it. There is little you can do to help her, her circus and her monkeys.

Also there are indications here that in order to get what she wants she may manipulate and accuse you of actions you haven't committed.

You may wish to record the next rant as it is likely to be helpful for you if you are accused.

Be prepared for another issue to emerge in good time which has caused her anger. It might even be a frustrated romance, a failed A.

Know this, your W anger is more about her stuff than yours, at this stage stay in your own sandpit. Let L deal with L, you pay good money for it.

V

[Phoebe]

Hello, SadHub. Just a drive by to check in, as I'm a bit worried about you.

(((SadHub)))

[SH_]

Thank you Phoebe for all of the support and check ins. I am doing surprisingly well all things considered.

Thank you Ralph, rich and V for your support and wise words as I know that you each share truth and compassion in your posts.

I am running on little sleep right now, but my mind seems clear and my shakiness I think is due to some caffeine (I have not had it in over a month but was falling asleep at my desk, I know I should not have but I am awake and doing okay)

Short chat with d17 at lunch and we are both doing well and excited as we are focused on the future and set boundaries for no looking back. Also she was tickled to have found the looney tune figurines at her mothers house. It was cute how she was excited by this.

Busy night tonight with meeting with IC and d17 going with church youth group.

I will try to share more updates before bed.
Thank you again for all the check ins and valuable advice and reminders.

Pencil smiles on my face

[SH_]

Today has been surprisingly good for me. I have felt calm, happy, and even got some comments at work about being so cheerful.
D17 had a great day as well.

I can't explain it, and I have this small fear that a bad day is to follow, but I am living in the moment and will act as if I can maintain this calm and confidence.

My IC said that this is the best I have looked and scored in 10 weeks. I'll take that

May everyone get some rest this evening. Tomorrow is a new day with new challenges and an opportunity to heal, grow and have a good day.

[Phoebe]

Yeah for you, SadHub!!! You sound really good today.

Living in the present is the best way to live. Take every good day and just run with it.

[SH_]

Dang it, this morning I am feeling sadness and anxiety again. I slept okay, still waking every couple of hours, but I think I went back to sleep relatively quickly each time, until the 3 am wake up. Then the anxiety was rolling over me again. I took an anti anxiety med as it was rolling pretty hard.

Now I am feeling groggy as I need to wake up and get ready for work.
And the anxiety is still rolling. Why does the mind do this? Why do I feel so without control of what it is doing? I have long had my issues with trying to keep the mind focused on positivity and now it just seems to wander on it's own.

Dang it. I need some peace, I know that I can not control anything but myself, but these days I am starting to wonder if I can do that. Nights and early mornings are starting to become a time I dread. They used to be my time of peace and positive self reflection. Grrrr.....

I have dreams of better things, but I am stuck here with my confidence waning, a desire to help my d's, and a lonliness that is painful.

I have to get myself together. Why can't I hold it together for longer than a day or so?

I am thankful for....many things. The emotional pain this morning is clouding my thoughts. The waves of anxiety are at a tropical storm level right now.

I must pray for peace. Please grant me calm and clear thoughts of hope this morning .

I am thankful for...I need to be thankful right now, but my sense of loss, guilt and grief are overwhelming this morning. Why do my intentions not come out in my actions. How did I hurt my W so deep when my intentions were that of love.
I feel very overwhelmed right now.

I feel a bit bipolar reading my posts. A good day, a bad one,a good one......

I am going to dig deep as I must have a smile and an appearance of confidence as I greet my D17 this morning. She needs her fathers strength.

May you each have a good day.

[Painter]

SadHub, sorry to hear your morning is rough. I wake early, too, and have trouble getting back to sleep. Not so much anxiety as 'why?' - why is H doing this/acting mean & cold, etc.

I felt calmer after we separated and I moved. I wonder if the limbo and feeling powerless is what is causing you anxiety. I saw in your signature it said waiting for W to file for D. That's hard, is there any way you can reframe your situation to feel more empowered?

Also, I think you can let D17 see that you are down... as long as you also let her know it's going to eventually be okay.

[SH_]

Thank you painter for your kind and wise thoughts and support.

I think your point on the limbo is a pressing point of my anxiety. I do not want a divorce, but I see it as a source of relief from the pain now. And that feels like such a conflicted thought. I felt yesterday as I could move on without my W, and then I missed her sorely this morning. More conflict of thought.

But after reading your words and feeling your sincere care, I am feeling better now. Mornings are the worst, but some sense of hope is finding its way back into my mind now.

I also appreciate your advice to apply with my d17. I followed it and she was extremely supportive and said that she believes in me and knows that we will be okay.

Another day to heal, another day to find opportunity and seize it, another day that I must win.

[J5K]

Sadhub,

Hang in there. Each day will get better my friend. I also have rough mornings and nights. Feels like we are just going through the motions each day. Time will heal all wounds. I hope you have a better afternoon.

[Phoebe]

SadHub, there is another way you can choose to frame your ups and downs. Yesterday was a genuinely good day, right? That is one more than you've had for some time, I suspect. Every day won't be good, but that you are having any good days at all is genuine progress from where you were a few weeks ago.

I hear your frustration about the roller coaster ride, but I honestly believe that over time the good days will start to outnumber the bad ones, and by a lot. I absolutely agree with Painter that the limbo aspect is making things much harder. I know that is the case for me, at least. The feeling that we have lost control is extremely disempowering. Start with acknowledging that there are things you cannot control, and then try to take back control of what still is within your own power. Even little things - you control what you eat, for instance. Start small and own it.

And please don't hide yourself from your daughter. I meant it when I said that she will learn from what you are going through. Don't teach her that she should ever feel ashamed of her true emotions.

I'll check in later. I have a doc Appointment. Be well, SadHub!