Feeling lost 2

[srt]

right very confused again about W behaviour and recent interactions

we agreed to go a walk to about stuff the other night - spent half the walk just chatting about all sorts of stuff, family, friends, kids etc.
Then she shift chat onto more serious stuff. She still says she does not know what she wants. Doesn't want a D, but doesn't want R either. Thinks the current situation is OK and doesn't acknowledge effect of separation on children - thinks because she sees them happy they are ok.
Still has "dream" of living in city and working at museum. Is getting worried she's turning 35 this year. Doesn't think she's in MLC. Says she is happier now, but also talked in detail about what was wrong - apparently didn't feel loved enough, and I never "chased" her - seemed strange to me as it's not how I remembered it.
I validated all this as best I could but probably pursued too much too.
Then discussing finances, she said wants nothing!
Only sticking point is kids and access - still wanting me to pick them up in the week to suit her work arrangements (I'm full time she is not). This seems cake eating, she is also refusing 50/50 care, which is what I want since still feel kids and family has been ripped from me.
Very confused about the whole chat, she says she has no resentment now, but equally I see no desire to revive R, and at the same time she seems to indicate current sitch is ok which it is not as it doesn't allow me to move on.
To top it all off she asked if I wanted to go on hols with her M&D and kids during summer, I simply said I don't think that would be appropriate.

HELP!