Husband Walked Out- Need Support!

[LiM]

Hi LandC,

It seems to me that right now, your focus is on reconciling and getting him back on to your property so that you can start rebuilding a friendship. And that's not where your focus should be. It should be on you and you alone. We know you have CoDependent issues to work on. Are you? If so, how?
Are you GAL? If so, what are you doing?
While rebuilding your friendship is a key part of having a healthy M, you have to ask yourself, do you want a friend or do you want a H? Based on what I'm seeing from your H, I think he is wanting to be just friends. I don't think that's what you want. Letting him back onto your property to just start being friends again will not solve your problems. I understand the financial situation but that's not your problem. He left so its HIS problem. If you let him back onto the property so that you can be "friends", he is essentially cake eating. As long as you aren't being mean to him, why wouldn't he want to move back? Its better for him financially but he can still be S from you because he's in his own house.
He's telling you "I'm done, you can't fix this and I don't want to work on this." Allowing him back as a "friend" will not fix your M.
Right now, I think you need to be focused on yourself and GAL. Let him see how awesome you are on your own. Let him see what he is missing. Let him be jealous of the life you are living without him. When his tune changes, THEN you can consider letting him back onto the property.
I know how painful these past few weeks have been. I know how badly you want him back. But he has to come back under the right circumstances.
You are familiar with my story and how quickly things have been changing for me. I'm actually having to put the brakes on things a little bit. My W and I went to our first MC session together since we started piecing. For me, starting MC was the first step to allowing her back into our home. She's showed her rent house to someone yesterday and they fell in love with it. They want to move in NEXT WEEK! That's where I had to throw on the brakes a little because I know there are things we haven't even talked about and processed yet. You can't let them back in just because they want to (and because you want them to). You can't skip steps. They have to do the work. If you don't, you'll end right back up in the same painful situation again.
In my opinion, you shouldn't be letting him back into the house until you see a significant change in his attitude and behavior.