Echo what Jeep said there. There are no quick fixes in any of our situations. This is a long haul journey for all of us.
Those links above are gold dust. The information in them is incredibly valuable.
Something else I'd add in there, something for you to start thinking about (if you can at this point in time) is that you can't do anything to control your W's behaviour. From what I understand, anything that you try to do will backfire on you and make her want to act up even more.
So the emails you're writing? Don't send them. I know just how hard it is, trust me. But her behaviour will show itself to be what it is in the fullness of time. You don't have to do anything.
The only thing you can do at this point in time is to focus on your own care and wellbeing.
