I feel for you, man. Your situation is very much like mine with regards to Ws job stress level. My W is a high ranking officer who had extreme amounts of responsibility. However, unlike yours, mine also had severe mental issues, which must have come to light in part due to the stress.
I've heard some great advice on here about blowing up affairs. I would suggest that you might want to pull that last trigger - are you friends with people in the office? But, as many say on here, as long as she is involved with the OM, your relationship isn't on her radar - not in the least. Also, you must examine your own relationship so you can see if you can find what caused her to stray. Were there problems? Somewhere along the line she felt something was missing and found it in the OM.
I contacted my Ws family about her A and it didn't go as planned - family always support each other first... My Ws family is a bit on the trashy side (sorry, but true) and one actually supported her affair. I really do not like that member...
Come to think of it, I would out her in the final place.
As far as the trip - if you go, keep in mind that you pretty much are nothing to her. Sorry to be so callous, but that's just the way it is. If not, would she be involved in an A and talking marriage? Been there, done that - and now will be divorced soon...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
