I confronted my wife about having an affair and she confirmed it. She works in a super high stress, high prestige job and the affair is someone in her office. Their work is only a year long and it is largely confidential so I can't really discuss much of it with her. The job ends in june (good news) but then she is free to move wherever (bad news) They work between 12-14 hours per day with about 40 other people and worked more closely on a big successful project together in early February. The affair started sometime after that. In February, my wife experienced three big deaths, 1 family friend. 1 a co worker, 1 a family member, all within a three week period. We got into a bunch of fights around this time related to the stress of the deaths, and I thought something was going on with her so was not as supportive as maybe I could have been. Turns out these two have been working out for an hour everyday, sneaking away from work on weekends (When I thought they were working at the office) to do whatever. Now I confront her. She tells me she is in love with this guy (after 2-3 months), and wants a divorce. My wife is a deeply religious person who has up until this point, never believed in divorce. Both our parents are together for 30plus years. We have been married for nearly 4 years, together for 6, and at least through December, she was signing the praises of how I was the most supportive husband ever. I want my wife back. Both the OP and my Wife's jobs end at the end of June. He told his wife of 6 years (dating for 10) that he wants a divorce and is moving with my wife to her hometown when they finish their job in a few months. My wife is 31, he is 31, his wife is 31. According to both of them, they have not slept together, they have kissed, been over our houses a number of times but have not had sex (my wife waited until marriage to have sex, so it does not surprise me if true but I have some doubts). In December we started trying to have kids, but stopped in early February because my wife was worried the stress of the job might cause a miscarriage (a good friend had just had a miscarriage a few weeks before).
I sent out an email to all her family and friends letting them know about the affair and asking for them to help me get my wife back. Honestly it seems to crazy to me. 2 months, high stress, deaths, etc and winds up with someone from the office---its like a bad novel. Her mom is coming into town in a few hours. I have spoken extensively with the other spouse and she wants to fight like hell for her husband too. She has yet to send out an email to all his family and friends but has called his parents who apparently are worried about his drinking and stress and thinks he needs help. They are coming to visit him this weekend.
She slept in the other room last night. How do I act around her? What do I do next? We are supposed to travel out of town Friday for a wedding that she is in the wedding party for (the bride was on my email letting her know of the affair)? What do I do? How can I act.
I have not told her coworkers yet because if I did, it would likely make the news or at least the gossip. I would prefer to keep her professional reputation as intact as possible but since they work together and I think my first step is getting the relationship to stop as quickly as possible, in which case I might have to send it to her co workers and both of their very powerful supervisors.
Please let me know anything you think I should do/know. This is totally out of character for my wife and I need to snap her out of it.
