Hi Sotto , Fogg and lady V. Thanks for posting , it did feel nice to know that she has some regrets but it doesn't change what happened.
Lady V. I don't think anything WAS / WW could do anything to return to my life now I do still love her but it's best to move forward
Lady V. I would love to meet you when you are in Dublin but I know we had a chat about this before BUT if you need anything while your here , I'm in Dublin everyday
Take care. Rd
I am on FB RD I post to the DB board quite often. I don't know if you do?
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Sotto. I think it is out of fear of rejection and I just will not risk it. In Saturday's convo , was she genuine or was it just guilt ? At the end of the day I would prefer not to be hurt again Life will be good again and time will heal all. I don't feel the gut wrenching upset of the first year and I have learned to cope with home quite well.
I do feel for W because I do shut the door quite often. She reachs out in many different way that I don't post about and even I can see she keeps way more contact with me than needed She does appear lost but she is still friend s with OM as far as I know and that's it for me
We only get one life and we need to feel that we have lived it to the best of our ability My belief is WAW / WW has true regrets and would like to return to her family , my pride or ego or fear could not let this happen because I'm not mature enough to move past it There is no pleasure in my posting that , WAW / WW hasn't changed history , she hasn't flaunted a new R in my face and she keeps her new life to herself and does not try to involve kids in any way I got to have my kids 24/7 ,and that's more than most on here
My belief is you treat people as you wished to be treated WAW / WW made choices and she now will live by them. When she's home or talking on the phone with me , I feel the connection , the old W is in there and on Sat I did open up with a few truth darts about the kids She seems very remorseful and generally sad I also think that she has accepted that we are past the point of no return and I can only see the R going down hill.
You have all been fantastic to me and I could never thank you enough.
RD you seem so strong and in such a different position to me you have been a rock ..and a great help to me and I cannot thank you enough for checking up on me and staying with me with many have understandably left me to ponder my thoughts.
I will post more in my thread as I do not want to take up your thread with me and my thoughts
Man hugs to you
Ghost...I think I will always be ghost ;o)
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
So, if I get this right, the friendship (or worse) with OM is what is killing any chance of an R with W? So, without persuing, is there any way you can make that known to your W via a third party? I guess that could be a start to rebuilding, if you want it.
Pride - isn't that just another word for stubborn? I respect your thoughts and viewpoints, but you do say you only get one life, so why no put pride to one side, and make some kind of move?
Just a thought - feel free to disregard!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Hi all Today was not a good one. WW called and told me OM has moved in temporary !!! He lost his flat and she's helping him out. I wasn't surprised and didn't react other than to say ok. She started crying and said she wasn't with him romantically and I suggested she should because she obviously had feelings for him
She was on the phone for 2 hours and she said lots. She said she honestly believed that we would get back together and lots of times she wanted to call me
As you all know I had resigned myself already so I was able to stay calm and I did ask her to just be honest She insisted that she was not with him and I found it easier to just accept it because I didn't want to argue. The arguing time is over and it's time to move on
I am upset but not overly so WW made choice and now we must live our lives
Sorry. Meant to add I asked WW for a divorce but she said no I asked why and she said because its final. I said we had to get one and she said she would but wanted it made clear she did not want a divorce
Hi lovely, I'm sorry you had a rough day ((((big hug)))) - that's a rough piece of news. And I absolutely agree that there's little chance of R when OM is still 'active.' I certainly feel that within my own sitch too as it just isn't something I would consider.
As for your W, she still seems pretty confused - and clearly she's also finding the finality of ending the M difficult. In some sitches, WAS's seem to be very much in the grip of infatuation with OP and have no interest in the M until that has passed. Your sitch has more of a feel of two wounded birds (W & OM) clinging together in a damaged nest. Who knows exactly what the status of that R is - but I agree that until/unless he is off the scene, rebuilding something together isn't possible.
However, I think for all of us, D then becomes a separate decision. Do we wait it out and see how things go? Let this other R run it's course? Or do we get to a point where we know there is no going back for us and decide to D and move on. There is no right and wrong, only decisions we at some point make for ourselves. I do feel that for a long M with kids together, it is worth digging deeper (than for a shorter M and no kids - but JMHO.) And perhaps you have dug deep enough already?
It may be that if you do nothing, there won't really be anything to end the 'limbo' either. Where would be the momentum to give your W a forward shove - as someone mentioned above.
Just from what I recall earlier though - does it not have to be 5 years S in order to file for D where you are??
Again, just musings from me - and I would also encourage you not to make big decisions right on the back of receiving difficult news - let things settle first.
I shall be around for a glass of wine (after 8pm) if you want some online company RD.
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
