Still more detachment, (less) anxiety and the joys of limbo

[Phoebe]

No, thank goodness. I've never met or seen the AP, beyond photos.

The affair truly is only part of my H's puzzle. The lies for years before the affair, the secret life, the drugs, the disappearance, the encouragement of false hope for months after walk-away - those things were more than enough to get me to the point of falling apart at the seams.

I can't imagine if I actually knew or was friends with the OW. That's horrible. You ladies have had to deal with a lot.

I only found the AP's info due to H's/their hubris about putting stuff out on the Internet. I searched his full name and her first name, and, hey bingo, there they both were, liking each other's stuff online, signing up for things together, etc. It's not hard to find lots of stuff if they don't try to hide it. Either he thinks he's really smart and I'm stupid, or he wanted me to find it. Either way, I did. I haven't tipped any of my hand. it changes nothing anyway.

It would have been better if I hadn't found her, and I haven't gone looking since, but there's yet another bell I can't unring. I can't forget that I know her name and how to contact her. Instead, I have to resist the urge to do anything about it.

Oh, and when it comes to the zombie apocalypse, I'd like BOTH Cherry and BluWave on my team!!! LOL. Maybe it'll be all of us LBSs against the wayward zombies?

Anyhow, just a bit of journaling...

Not much to report for the day, beyond not doing much in terms of GAL activities. Totally struggling in that department again. I did talk to a friend for an hour, I had some fun with my flock of chickens, I transplanted a few dozen tomato plants with my Mom and then watched a movie with her this evening. That meant most of the day was by myself, and I felt like I was just passing the hours. It's a far cry from how good I was feeling in the week or so before my trip to the other house. Riding that lovely roller coaster down and hoping for some sleep.

My best to everyone, and sending special strength out to SadHub. He is my pencil smile hero and right now he deserves some much-needed peace and quiet.