Why don't you come to your senses?

[2Times2Many]

Just got back from dinner and OMG is he confused. So, more glimpses into the MLC mind as I relate this stuff.

We talked a lot about business and he implored me to keep him informed about what's going on over here. I explained how I felt about being between him and his brother and he said don't ever worry about that. He also said, without elaboration, that BIL puts blame on me for some of his missteps. I knew that. H did say, though, that he would believe me over BIL so I feel good that he still believes I have his best interest at heart, which I do. BIL is the type to shirk accountability and I'm so glad H finally sees that.

So, H is beginning to see that his plan (BIL running ops here) is not working out like he thought it would. FINALLY!

In the course of that convo, we both agreed that we didn't need to make any decisions today (alluding to D but that word never came up) but had time to sort things out. I think D is on the back burner for now, at least as far as he is concerned. For me, we'll see how the next couple of months go. I can take my time.

Toward the end of dinner, the convo turned to our personal relationship. He said he cared deeply about me and what happened to me in the future but he didn't have love for me. I said I understood that because I felt the same way about him, but I can't have loving feelings for him when he's always f'ing gone. (I rarely use the f word, so it had some impact.) I said there was no way for him to light my fire or me to light his when we were apart all the time. He said I had a point. What the heck does that mean?

I told him (after a period of thoughtful silence) that I really had to question if what we were doing was complete idiocy. I talked about how we had started out with pretty much nothing between the two of us and together we had achieved what we have today. I said I felt like we would both be worse off by going separate ways and the thing that bugged me the most about the whole situation. I said I questioned if this was a huge mistake. He said he questioned if what he was doing was the right thing, but he just didn't want to live here. He started to get a little agitated at this point.

That led me to calmly ask him why he didn't want to live here because I had never really asked him to express why he felt that way. He said he just he didn't. I pushed and asked why? What are the reasons? He really had to think about it, dig for a response, and finally came up with some answers. It was mostly political stuff but I think someone is influencing him here. His best friend left the US and I suspect that guy is bashing the US to him.

I told him I was concerned about his future. I said it had nothing to do with our personal R, but I cared about him and what happened to him. He thanked me for that. I said, "For instance, if you got really ill, would the friends you have there take care of you?" He immediately said, "No." So they are superficial friends who wouldn't really be there for him in a time of great need and he knows it.

I told him that some of his decisions really made me scratch my head. He said, "I scratch my head about some of my decisions, too." I can't remember the exact words he used, but he essentially said he knew his decisions may not be sound ones. So, he is apparently questioning his ability to make sound decisions.

I said I understood about the living in the US thing, but where is better? Europe? He said no. The Middle East? He said no. The Far East? He said no. I went on and every answer was no. I said that if I were in my 20s, moving somewhere else in the world might make sense, but at our age, it may not be a smart thing to do. He agreed with that, to my surprise.

I said that I had a lot of thinking to do about my future and that I wanted to take the time to figure out what I wanted in my life. I said I didn't want to move to Timbuktu and discover that I hated it and end up moving again after a year. He said he really hadn't thought that far into the future about where he wanted to live and such.

As he dropped me off, he said we needed to talk more. When I asked him to move out of the house, I told him I didn't want to talk to him other than business and I've pretty much stuck to that. H has alluded to that a couple of times while he's been here and I told him he could call whenever he liked. He's missed me??? He's missed talking to me???

Overall, I can see an incredibly confused man. He's a mess and I so wish I could help him, but I can't. I've done all I can think of to do to let him know that the door is open if chooses to walk through it and at the same time let him know that I am planning and ready to move on without him. I've said all I can think of to make him think twice about this new OW without calling her a home-wreaking s%$t. The ball is in his court. He has a lot to think about. Only time will tell what happens. Fortunately, I have time.