Everything people are posting here is good advice - focus on you, take a deep breath, you are not alone. I'm guessing the spot you are in right now is where you can't even think straight since you are obsessing over your W and losing her. We've all been there or are there right now. Here are a couple suggestions that might help. (remember, I'm an amateur, so take it all with a grain of salt.)
First - find someone to talk to. Take a few minutes and really think about all the people you could talk to about this. Choose someone that you think would listen and would respect your privacy. Call them and ask them if you could buy them a cup of coffee. You would be surprised at how many people would be willing to listen and offer support. More people like and love you than you think. I found a friend that I NEVER would have expected would have been as helpful as he has been.
Second, think of one thing that you stopped doing over the last 5 years. Maybe it was a hobby, maybe it was a form of exercise, maybe it was a friend you lost touch with. Even if it seems like you don't want to do that hobby anymore or you don't like that old friend anymore call them anyway or start the hobby again. Why? Because nothing sounds appealing right now - all you WANT is your W back. What you NEED is your life back. Call that friend or start that hobby ASAP.
Final thought for now. MC right now might be something to reconsider. When a spouse attends MC for the wrong reasons it doesn't go well. Usually backfires. If her true motivation for going to MC is anything but she wants to fix the MR no matter whose fault it is, then you may wish to put the MC on hold until she is in the right state of mind.
