New here need support

[poschan]

I found out in February that my W was looking for a place to move. We have a D7. M for 12 years; T 14 years. At first I did all the wrong things (pursued, pleaded, etc.) until I came across this forum and DB and DR books. I still fall into the same patterns attempting to save our M. I absolutely fear devastating D7 and losing daily contact with her. I lost 20lbs due to the stress and anxiety. I have had 2 sessions with a DB coach. We are currently in the same house (separate BRs) with very little communication. No D papers filed yet but W has begun a marriage dissolution agreement and we have discussed a parenting plan (she has agreed to even time with D7). She wants to D without L. We still do family activities together and I am wondering if I should stop that for now...
Last night, W said she found a house to rent and was going to put down a deposit. Unfortunately, I fell into some of the same behaviors in attempts to get her to reconsider our M. I am having a hard time focusing on me and doing what is best for me and D7. This has been a wake up call for me to work on myself whether we are able to R or not. I've been trying to GAL. I work from home so this has been difficult as I am usually the one who is home to care for D7 during the week. During the past 2 weeks I have been out when W expected me home and did not return her calls. I have also started dressing better in the AM even though I work from home. She said something is up and said I was lying that I wasn't going anywhere all dressed up. I told her that I was going to the store (which I was) and was not lying even got my bible prove (wrong again I know). She then said this is why we will never work. She started a new job about 2 years ago which is very social and this is when I feel things started to deteriorate. Lack of communication seems to me to be the biggest issue but it seems too late as she has told me she "is not in love with me anymore or attracted to me and how does someone get that back?" I am an attractive, professional man. Not sure if she is having an EA but have had suspicions. Not that it would matter re: a D anyway and would only hurt me more if I found out she was. Sorry for the all over the place dialogue and I look forward to any support/insight.