The first thing you do is take a deep breath. Second thing you do is answer the question: who am I doing this for? If the answer is my W, then she is right and its only a matter of time before you go back to your old ways and odds are the M will end up the same way again. If the answer is you, then you won't just go back to your old ways (you wouldn't have to apologize to her)and the M has the best chance of working. Third thing you do is get out and do something you find rewarding. Something that YOU really enjoy. This whole DB process isn't about your W or getting your M back. It's about getting YOU back to being the best YOU that you can be after arguably the most painful event in your entire life. It's very selfish in that way, your W presumably no longer meets your needs. So you have to meet them for yourself, independent of her;I mean you don't have to, but then who are you really helping if you don't? NOBODY. Not you, not her and not your D.
