I agree with RD, it's fine to get the letter off your chest and good to journal - and good for you to have realised that giving the letter to her wouldn't be helpful.

In fact, I can only think of the very rare occasion when giving a letter has actually helped on these forums. So, giving letters (IMHO) is risky for sure.

For the holiday, I agree - take the kids. If you're nervous about a holiday abroad - what about a UK break to build up to that. Maybe Centerparks or similar, or a nice hotel with a pool that's in a place with a couple of fun things to do??

You're doing well, and remember to try and not ruminate on the R with your W. She's gone for just now - so make the most of other things life has to offer.

Take care smile x

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus