WAW still angry, moved out, D on the way?

[Phoebe]

Hey, SadHub. I am so sorry that you are having a hard time again. Strangely, reading your thread this morning, it was like I was reading about my own feelings and thoughts lately. My sleep has gone to pot again, after doing better for a while. I can't shut my mind off. I also want to live and find joy, but I'm finding that surviving is about what I can muster.

Last night I tried to do my mindfulness meditation, and I immediately got off track into a daydream/nightmare about what I would say to OW in a letter (that I have zero intention of writing, mind you). I just couldn't shut it down. For hours.

My energy is tapped out, and for the first time since December I haven't wanted to get out of bed for the last two days. I haven't gone to the gym in a couple months. My GP actually told me not to, in an effort to maintain my weight. I wonder if I'd just go off the back of a treadmill if I even tried it? I haven't walked outside because my friend isn't feeling well. I am tired of anxiety and depression and shaking and crying and inappetence and wondering if I should file for D and wondering if he'll do it first if I don't. I am just plain tired.

Sorry to hijack you thread with my mess.

Know that you are not alone. So many of us of are having the same struggles with depression, anxiety, insomnia, mind racing, shaking, and weight loss. We feel like our lives has blown up around us. It means that we are all normal. We are normal people living though a very painful ordeal. We are also living with tremendous uncertainty, and that makes our struggles just that much harder.

tjcran is right - you are doing so much that is admirable right now. Working, caring for your children, jogging and taking care of yourself. Those things are worth so much.

I hope that you have a better day today, SadHub. Know that I may be having my own problems, but that I am always pulling for you and I am sending you positive thoughts. Let's both try to get in some meditation for our challenge, do those pencil smiles, and maybe watch some silly Neature!!!

Wishing you a non-shaky, positive day, SadHub.