My first post - please be nice.

[collin]

Thanks for your help tjcran. I hopped over into your thread and saw that you're going through your own personal hell. Thank you for taking the time to reply to mine.

I'm so scared. I feel so alone. I'm not sure I know how to GAL. My whole life for the past 5 years has revolved around her. Heck, I can't even come to work to get away from it, because we met as a result of my job. Thank God for this forum or else I would have no one to talk to about it. No one in my family or hers knows what's going on, none of my friends know and only 2 co-workers do. Mainly cause they saw me sitting at my desk sobbing so they asked and I spilled my guts. It felt good to get it off my chest, but they couldn't offer more than the obligatory, "i'm sorry you're going through that, let me know if you need anything..." canned response. One of them is divorced himself, but effectively he was the WAS.

Everywhere I look, everywhere I turn is reminder of her. The wallpaper on my phone, her initial tattooed on my ring finger and our bible verse on my wrist, the pictures at home, the cups we've accumulated on our vacations, everything is a reminder. I can't escape it.

I picture a life without her and I all picture is a life of emptiness and loneliness. It scares me. It just seems useless. Like a life not worth living.

I don't know what to do.