also, she said she's been feeling our R drift for as long as three years ago. About the time we moved into my dads and left her condo. She didn't say anything to me until about 10 months ago. Like I said, she internalizes.
I should also add that S has moved away for college. He has always been dependant on her and now, aside from financially, he's on his own and doing fine.Shortly after he moved out, is when she first vocalized her true feelings about us. That is a big change in her life and I can't help but feel it wasn't coincidental.
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ok, so over the last couple weeks, she has started packing things up she wants. Most all of our decorations are down and packed. I'm ok with this, as I said to take whatever she wants. No fight from me.
Now, this week, she has started sleeping in the guest bedroom. She has taken the comforter from "my" bed and packed it away. We don't have another one. What kinda irks me is that she isn't moving out for another 2 months, surely that could have waited. She doesn't close on her condo for a couple weeks, and there's at least a month of renovation before she moves in. Is she trying to get a rise out of me?
Yes she was trying to get a reaction from you. she was going to have to take the comforter eventually. Let her have it and buy a new one. No reaction from you. Keep cool. Vent on here, not to W about it.
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
Thanks. Needed to hear that. I've made all the mistakes early on, but now I'm doing pretty good. Basically, anything she is doing, I'm imagining isn't there/didn't happen. I guess that's the "act as-if" mentality. Its definitely hard to do and not natural, but I'm moving myself in the right direction.
I'll be sure to just come to here instead of saying anything to her.
She did approach me about our M, saying "if you ever need to talk about it/us, let me know". I only said thanks and you do the same. I think I'm right in leaving any talk about us up to her to initiate.
Digit, you sound like you're doing great (well...as great as to be expected). My W has already signed her lease and is moving out later on this month. Being in and sharing the house with someone you love, who now doesn't want to be with you, is so hard. I made the mistake and gave up the bed a long time ago. Honestly, I didn't want to be in the bed without her anyways. She was gone a couple weekends and I tried sleeping in the bed and it just didn't feel right. I don't mind sleeping on the couch anyways.
I almost feel like I'm at the point now though, where if she's going to move out (and she is) just go ahead and go so I don't have to be so inundated with her presence. I feel like trying to get/win her back will be easier once she's gone - as opposed to trying to convince someone to stay who has already signed a lease.
Just continue to be strong.
M:36 W:31 D:12 M: 8/9/10 ILYBNILWY/"want space": 2/14-ish/16 W moved out 5/24/16.
Thanks for the kind words. Sounds like you are in a similar situation, and yea, it [censored]. [censored] even more because she is getting a mortgage and plans to sink a TON of money into the place, seem a bit permanent.
And the bed/sleeping thing, I'm just acting "as if", so...she left the bed, more room for me! She took the fan from the room, got a new one! The comforter thing did irk me only because we had decided she takes the living room furniture, I keep the bed (same value). I had assumed it meant everything that goes with it. But I'm over it, she can have it. In the end, its all just stuff.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious/excited about living on my own. I have no idea how I'll feel once she's gone, but that's an issue for another day.
We also have 2 dogs. I believe the place she's moving to has a 1 dog limit. She was pretty adamant about keeping them together early on, but that was before she knew this. I wonder if she'll own her word.
Should I protest if she wants to split them up? We both love them like children lol. Also, they are the absolute best of friends
