Detach (from WW and lose control)
• Do not start 100% of all conversations - What do you mean "do not start 100%"? Dont start ANY? I sometimes can't help myself, but know that the aim is to not start any.
• Do not get drawn into 100% of all possible arguments - Arguments arent inherently bad. What is bad is spiraling and getting off message. It's OK to disagree. Its in HOW you disagree that is critical to maintaining a healthy R. I over analyse everything which just makes things worse. I am calm but come accross as over critical.
• Do not check Tracker when my WW is out
• Keep my phone off when my WW is out
• Consciously remove control over others when I interact with them - - How will you measure this? I guess that i need to evaluate afterwards if the decision was theirs, or mine, not sure how?
• Do not react to anything anyone says or does, pause and then consider my response

Improve myself (GAL)
• I need to go to gym at least 3 to 4 days a week. My gym bag must remain in the car so that I can simply state that “I’m going out”.
• I need to stop eating junk-food, and actually start eating. I need to keep healthy snacks to boost my nutrition. - Good. Do you have a clear target for acceptable/unacceptable? Yes, absolutely no junk food, if such, then a healthy alternative. Did well until BD2, so can do it. Used to have fast food probably twice a month.
• I need to get out every day that I can, even if it’s a drive to sit somewhere and soak up nature. I need to try and see more live sports and spend time with my long lost family and friends. - Be more specific. Is "getting out" include walking to the mailbox? Add a quantity of time. Also, dont say "try" in a goal. Its a goal...it's OK if you dont hit it. What do you want? twice a month? weekly? I want to do something different every wknd, a movie by myself, a walk outdoors, a hike, a visit to the beach. At least one thing differently each wknd.
Oh, must add two more - no drinking of alcohol and no porn, period.

Understand boundaries and implement some
• I think that I’m starting to get what boundaries are. The big emotional one will be no intimacy with my WW. The longer I can keep her off me, the stronger I will get. I will know that I will have achieved it if the day to sign the D papers come and I’ve still not given off. - Define intimacy. Hug? Kiss? R talk? Sex? Intimacy is all of the above, i am too invested in my WW to be able to tell the difference between when she's temp checking or cake eating.

Appreciate the little things

• I think that here I need to affirm my WW whenever she does anything that is not selfish, and is her going out of her way for me, or our son. Perhaps hitting 100% of affirmations, and understanding where I did not. - So you want to appreciate "the little things" or appreciate "her"?
[/quote] I guess that I want to appreciate her, well not her specifically, but the person for my next R, if anyone at all.

One thing that strikes me as odd is that you dont have any goals about your relationship with your son. How do you feel that relationship is?
I think that the R with my son is great, better than its ever been. If i focus on myself and include him whenever and wherever I can then the R can only get stronger. But ultimately, my goal is to have him to be disciplined and listen to me first time, without him fearing me. Right now he toys with me, waiting for me to do something before he listens.

Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.