I think two things here.
Get over her family thing and the wedding. It actually may have nothing to do with them. She could be saying you are not to be invited to these things. She could be making you the bad guy. Saying you don't want to go. Either way stop obsessing about it. She is their blood. She wins.

Your family. No question you reach out. DB them as well. Take things slow. Find out what the reasons were back then. Repair relationships.

If you want to wait until after agreement is signed then do that. I know you think she is going to try something if you contact them.

This is not the end for you. But it is happening you will be good

M 37
W 34

T 12
M 8
D 7
S 4

Need break 4/12/15
W no ring 7/7/15

Separate room 4/12/15
Separate living suggested 8/15
W moved out 11/1/15