Hi G , it's good to write the message but obviously not send it I think it's normal to have these feelings BUT nothing will change for W while she can see your still waiting for her Why would it ? Yes youve become a better person but only for a short period. It took your W years to get to this point and it might take years for her to believe the changes in you
She has given you the gift of time so would you not be better off using it for G
We all feel your pain and we all wish we had acted differently BUT we are where we are now so we have to make the best of it. We only get one life G and its best to enjoy it and live it to the full , if that means watching TV or climbing Everest , do what you enjoy Become the best Dad that ever walked the planet.
Take the kids on holiday ,'D17 will be able to look after herself more or less and it will create fantastic memories , I did it last year with 3'and we had a great time
The " no control " over W , means just that , you have none and in her current mindset anything you say or do is seen as an attempt to control her In her head the decision is made so G has to get on with his life. If the new G attracts W then great but if not , and G is happy with who he is , then it's her loss.
Again G , we all feel your pain but we also see that you are worth more than what's available from W right now
Just my opinion G , I'm far from an expert but I am living it as are most on here
