[BrightFuture]

2T, Job, HaWho, thanks for stopping by. I feel like I’m not responding quickly enough once I have some posts on my thread. I’ve been reading and trying to keep up with other threads, I just don’t have time and much energy to post. I’ve been pretty much falling asleep at the computer, reading this site and checking the FB. The work was super busy and stressful for a few weeks. I finally got some reprieve this week, I think… Also, two side projects have been taking up my time.

2T, I’m not a gambler, but I will definitely enjoy watching some people… with the glass of wine in my hand…

HaWho, my GF has a free show in her package deal. We just need to select the one… So far there are a couple we have in mind… One of them is these Australian guys show, LOL.

Job, thanks for cheering me up. I did have a lot of activities and needed some rest. I’m an introvert by nature, so I do need some down time of being alone to recharge. I did have it last weekend. Sort of… My yard looked a lot better after the work I’ve done. But, I still need to do a lot… I need to trim all the trees, including the cyprus tress that have a lot of dry branches. My back yard is big (I am in a cul-de-sac), so it takes a lot of work to maintain it. I was thinking to hire somebody to trim the trees and also fic my rotting storage shed. But… I had to replace my water heater last week, which cost me about $1,000. Ouch… This is where I has some nostalgic feeling washed over me… H replaced that last water heater himself. He used to do a lot of work in the house by himself, and we saved a lot of money. But… the good news is, I have a new water heater, and I don’t have to worry about it for another 6 years, hahaha. I watched the guy doing the work, so I think I can do it myself next time, LOL. Speaking about being ambitious.

We still haven’t finalized out vacation out of the country with my other GF. It got moved to the middle to late June now. I’m OK with that, as I was actually stressing out a bit about the whole timeline.

Job, I don’t even think any more about vacation home re-decorations. It is all good with me. Doesn’t bother me right now.

I’m having another week of GAL again. Happy hour and dinner with some folks from work tomorrow. My neighborhood Bunco group outing on Saturday (or Friday, if it changes), a god walk for charity event in Saturday morning. Not sure what is happening on Sunday. I think it is Mother’s day, right. So, there is a good change my son will come over, or we will go for lunch, or something.

As far as H… We are still in contact pretty regularly. He seems to contact me on the weekends now more often that he used to. I know it is all about the “business”, but still makes me think that he is not that “busy” playing around and entertaining himself, so he “remembers” about the business… He is still extremely polite and pleasant in all his interactions with me. He told me about his plans to be at the vacation home in the middle of June, and said that I can go there any time I want before that. This is different… I didn’t ask him yet, he volunteered this info… Is it that he now wants me to be there? Or, he actually thinks about what I might be doing?..

He also seems to still be kind of depressed. Or, actually it seems like he sort of gave up on life, except for the work. I don’t see much activity going on (based on CC statements and some other stuff…) He is still trying to involve himself into the activities, much like 2T’s H. But, I think that he does it because he wants to belong somewhere and not feel lonely.

When he replies to my e-mails or texts, I can feel the depression and exhaustion… I spent the entire week trying to figure out what our respective potions of the tax refund should be. It was not that simple this time, since I made 2 ½ much more than he did. So, I tried to be fare with the returns. I felt like I benefited this time by filing jointly. So, I gave him a bigger return, calculated based on what he would get if filing separately. I sent him a e-mail yesterday along with the company file (after I paid his business insurance – a different story…) I told him that he is welcome to calculate the return himself and let me know if he disagrees. His reply: Hi Bright, thanks for paying the “insurance” bill. ... I guess everything is good with the tax stuff, I really haven't been paying attention to it, and I appreciate you taking care of it. Thanks, H”. So… he trusts me with the tax refund… It is a good thing, right? IDK, I just sense a lot of depression in all of this…

I’m still trying to move on with my life. I’m not stressing every piece of communication with H. I just do what I feel. Right now I feel some compassion for H. And I do some things for him like I would do for a friend. If he would become nasty towards me, I would probably reconsider. But… he’s been super nice and considerate. For now, I think I will keep doing what I’ve been doing. Until I don’t feel like anymore.