How do you detach? i been trying and the only thing i can think of is give up on her. Give up the marriage.

Is there a way to really detach while still working to save M?

Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.