You cannot break her side of the pattern, because you have no control over how she will react or what she will do. Read about codependency, because this is an example of that.

The good news is that you CAN control everything that you say and do. You also get to control how much you react to her 2*4s. If you are struggling with detachment, than think of these 3 scenarios and how you would react:

1. Conflict with neighbor over same ol BS day in and day out, so predicable, but never changes.
2. Conflict with your boss, who you like & respect, but tends to get pushy & emotional over small things.
3. Conflict with W and she is venting that you haven't done X, Y, and Z enough.

My guess is that each person and situation evokes a different feeling and response in you. You have no control over any of them and how they are approaching you. But, you have complete control over what you say, how much reaction they get from you, your tone of voice, how much energy you give them, etc, etc.

So don't react to W. Know in advanced how you would like to respond to her--think, imagine, feel--what that look likes. When she approaches you, remain calm and respond the way you have already planned. Can you do that?

In life we teach everyone we meet how we deserve to be treated.
-Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela