Well, I saw my therapist today, and it was good, but he was forcing me to think more than usual!
We talked about how likely it is that I will have trust issues in any relationships I form in the future. We also talked about my realization that I fear being alone for the rest of my life. It's not a given that will happen, obviously, but it's not guaranteed not to happen, either! There are no guarantees in this life.
He asked me what I might look for in a future relationship, and I immediately said that I want someone who actually values me for those things that I think of as my strengths (the kinds of things I listed a few days ago when I felt like I should learn to toot my horn a little more), rather than seeing them as flaws or feeling intimidated by them or me.
The bottom line is I need a person who values himself enough to not feel like he's competing with me for his identity. I don't ever want to hear someone tell me that they feel inferior to me again. It's awful to know that someone you love feels that way.
Anyway, other than that, it's been a pretty slow day around here. I got plenty of sleep, for once (thank you Benadryl), and the shaking is reasonable today. I did my mindfulness exercise once already and I need to work on my grief counseling homework. I already did the reading, but now I need to do some thinking about it and write down my thoughts.
I hope everyone has a good evening and remember: pencil smiles!!!
Oh - I looked up the secret half-smile, Vanilla. Interesting. I tried it today during my mindfulness practice and kept thinking "Mona Lisa."
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
