Starting to do things right?

[PacLove]

If you are going to expose, I think you should include the OMW in your target. If they are not separated she could be your biggest ally.

Agreed - I was just thinking of maybe doing that exposure first to put some added pressure and if she deserves to know now (I'd want to if I were in her shoes - but she may already know).

I got that same suggestion for the letter of apology from my coach as well, I was very puzzled about it. Doesn't it seem very un-DB to you? It seems very clinging and not detaching at all. Also, someone warned me, by writing such an apology, if we do split up she could pull it up years from now and show my son, "Look, it was all your dad's fault, see, it wasn't because of OM..."??? I put the coaching on pause because of that, I may go back and try another coach because of this suggestion.

Hmm I never thought about it from a D's point of view, I don't think she'd pull that unless things got really nasty (they are very cordial right now). I did have a friend review it who's involved in law enforcement though and he suggested removing a few phrases that could be taken literally the wrong way as it could work against me in a D hearing.

The letter was brought up in my last session - it did seem very "un-DB" as did a lot of the suggestions from my coach - certainly against some of the advice I was getting online here, but at the same time I liked some of what she was saying - appealed to my Christian values and also the view of what's good for the family/child.

There was another resource I found (to remain nameless per forum rules) that also advocates the apology letter, and I followed the template there mostly.

I will pray on this more and reflect. It's a matter of will it do more harm then good? As my one Christian friend said, seeking forgiveness is probably more important than appearing desperate.