Still in limbo month 7

[Roxi]

My husband of 25 years moved out 8 months ago when his 1 year PA was discovered. OW went back to her husband. Past 8 months I have done NC, 180, GOL, lost 40 lbs, "let's work on a friendship" - you name it. We are very amicable at this point. We are both in separate IC. He won't work on the marriage because he says he wants to work on himself. He had a very rough childhood with a dad who was a serial cheater. He always gives me a hug when we see each other but other than that no affection. No time line for when a decision needs to be made. D21 graduates college this month and S18 graduates HS also this month. I hate my life being so up in the air, but I want to save the marriage. No Relationship talk lately because we have trouble with communication. Divorce will be costly as we have many entwined assets and he owns his own business. Money and credit cards are still in joint accounts. The waiting is the hardest part (Tom Petty). What has been everyone's else's experience on how situations like this end up?

M 25 T 29
D 21 S 18
BD 9/15