NYGal: A New Chapter and Hopeful!

[NYGal]

I'm struggling with some jealousy issues. W and I spent a nice afternoon together yesterday, after a nice morning the day before. She had scheduled dinner with a single woman who's an acquaintance and friend of friends last night, so I left the house at about 4:15. Well, the dinner lasted 3 hours, and she called me afterwards to say what a nice person this is -- unlike ow. But I got a little insecure about the comparison.

Some background. We are still taking things slowly, but everything seems to be progressing ok. The biggest hurdle is that she thinks she has ruined my reputation with some friends because of the vile things she has said about me to justify her decision to leave me for ow. She has said some really nice things, though, like that the colors in the garden are so much more vibrant when I'm there with her. But she has also said she wants less "co-dependency" in a R with me. (Then it turns out it was ow who labeled us as co-dependent...) And the way she intends to be less co-dependent is to do things with other people more. So she described the woman she had dinner with as one of those new friends she "needs". She is still dealing with some significant shame over what she did to me/us. And wants to know people still like her. But I find this threatening.

Then this morning she called to say good morning, texted to say "when we get back together let's invite [work colleague] and his wife over for dinner" because he has been so supportive of us as a couple. Then she called again to invite me to a fundraising event. BUT THEN called again to say, oops, double booked, she's going to a birthday party with some mutual friends that night(two of the people she trashed me to...) and she's not ready to be public about our possible reconciliation. So never mind about the fundraiser...

That hurt my feelings. Not sure how to take all this.