I guess that the letter isn't such a good idea. Thanks for the input on that. I am really struggling now.
I feel so guilty about my terms in my paperwork concerning the kids. I believe that they should see their mom and offered what I thought was a fair arrangement. But the thing that concerns me very much - even though I would like to think that she would her best for the kids - is that what happens if she snaps or falls into that pattern of dating questionable people. What do I do with that?
A friend told me that I have no reason to feel guilty but I'm not so sure. I just can't bring myself to go for her throat in the D process. I am just so torn. I guess I am still stuck on what I used to remember of her and our relationship.
Oh how I wish she would have been upfront with me before we got married. I just know that things would be different. I just don't get how someone who once said I was her world and love me more than life itself can turn into this.
And I still don't know how to separate personal feelings from the divorce. I can't bring myself to hurt her. Here is a stupid thought - for some reason I have it in my head that if I stand strong with my demands that it will drive her even more away. Does that happen? Could it be a true final nail? Or should I ease up in hopes that she will see it as being a good sign? Maybe I'm just dreaming. I'm not going for full custody - just primary physical with joint legal and fair visitation. I am very concerned about certain mindsets in her family, too, as they made it clear that they want me out of all lives, including my children.
Am I doing the right thing? I feel that the kids should see their mom. But I'm also worried...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
