Hi Vanilla and DBers, Today just feel I don't know anything, didn't sleep enough. Emotions all over the place. Nostalgia mixed with fear mixed with sadness and anger. Lovely. Would love some input on this scenario: yesterday H emailed me w questions about bills/ mutual bills etc. I found myself feeling really angry - all I wanted and tried to get him to help me with last couple years was to sit down once and have a money meeting, make plans etc. H was always resistant. Then I'd end up feeling resentful and frequently guilty as was left to deal with all the financial stuff alone, and since have a history of making some bad financial decisions and stuff w my Dad, a lot of fear built up. so eventually even I didn't want to bring up finances. One of our stresses in past year has been me underearning, though was also doing most of errands, cooking, cleaning etc. Now, I have a pt job but not enough to pay for all my bills. Afraid that if I tell him I still need some help for next month or so until find a ft job he'll be once again reminded that I am a 'burden' and this isn't what I want him to think right now. on the other hand, he did just friggin' WALK OUT on me 3 weeks ago. I know I need to handle this as an 'adult' vs. letting my codependent 12 year old run things, but unsure how to respond to his email. Trying not to feel like a total loser today and get a grip on the negative self talk. Will check out the info you mentioned on boundaries. gotta get those! thanks everybody.
