Headed for D - Trying to move on

[J5K]

So it was my weekend with the boys. Weather was rainy all weekend so went and visited my parents on Saturday. Spent about 5 hours there, boys had a good time.

Sunday was Orthodox Easter. Spent 4 hours with family and friends. We go every year to the same house. Everyone was cheerful and nice, I was not in a good mood. Missed having W with me. In the past she would want to socialize with the adults while I watched the boys. Nothing was different this year other than W not being there.

Woke up 3 times last night. Sleep is getting worse. W walked into the house this morning at 6:45 am handed me keys to the car and all I said was good morning cheerfully. She looked tired and went straight upstairs to the MBR.

She goes to first psyc eval meeting tomorrow evening and Wednesday I have court for the house. So many changes are happening this is not how I wanted things to turn out.

I am beginning to doubt my efforts to be the rock for the boys. I am trying my best.
I just feel like listening to Ls and fighting for custody is draining us financially.
I feel that I should have listened to DB coach and built a friendship with her. I know a lot of people on the boards don't agree with this approach or recommendation but I am out of options.
Maybe this was just a rough weekend for me.
I am just having a hard time seeing any light at the end of the tunnel.