I know how hard this is. The words coming out of his mouth sting, but there is a reason one of Cadet's welcome intro/advice/homework pieces is "don't believe anything they say and 50% of what they do". Basically, it is akin to a three year old shouting "I hate you!" to their mommy.
In this situation, as hard as it is, you validate his feelings. No "buts" included. "I'm sorry you feel that way", "I made you miserable? That must have been a very painful thing to realize." You don't have to agree with the sentiment, you're just agreeing that he is having those feelings. Let him vent. Be an active listener. Let him know that you are hearing him. But don't defend or fight what he is saying. If it becomes too much, excuse yourself and walk away.
It sounds crazy to do this, but when your H is being unhappy, a lot of the time its because HE is unhappy and taking it out on you (you are the person he is closest to), not because you are actually the root of the problem. By listening and validating rather than reacting to him, it sometimes not only difuses the situation, but allows him to feel heard. And that may help build trust in you as a comforter and friend again. Research validation and active listening. Keep DBing. Ignore the divorce talk right now. And just breathe.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
