Broken, not defeated pt2

[Cherry]

Thanks guys. You all bring up some really great points here, and give me some things to think about. And I needed the support so thank you.

It was the early hours of the morning here so could not get up and go really. I tried to calmly get into bed, and it took every part of my strength not to succumb to the red anger- I had an overwhelming desire to punch him! He tried his upmost to initiate sex throughout the night, and kept trying to intertwine himself in anyway to make contact. I swatted him off for most of the night, until at some point, he must have got me half asleep. And well that happened. Afterwards he tried to lay close to me, I shuffled away.

I didn't manage to take screenshots, the anger always clouds my logical thoughts. But you guys are right in the sense of he has no problem lying to me, I doubt he has any problems lying to her. And what better way to gain attention from someone but tell her a little sob story about how hard he has it, and yes I have no doubt the hot and heavy, and other actually caring actions are left out.

Not sure how to deal my cards yet, the red anger has shifted to white. And I'm more determined to look after me, for me. He is clearly a bit of a toxic mess right now. He is in chaos for sure. Not to sure how I can burst the bubble, I'm sure I can find a way. It isn't new info, I think so far it is just messaging. All day freaking long messaging. Because he is quite often at home. I guess it just angered me to see with my own eyes him telling someone things about our marriage. And when I see the word mistake I see red, because I am no mistake!!
The fact these toxic ap can justify the actions of someone leaving their m, especially where children are involved makes me even more angry, and you kinda think on one hand, these slimy people deserve each other- they don't deserve a loyal loving person. They deserve someone equally as lacking in morals