CRW, it still seems you are struggling with detachment, doing a lot of mind reading (which doesn't work), and not focusing on DB--YOUR needs & GAL. I am concerned you are setting yourself up for disappointment. This is a very long process and I don't want her to think she can string you along. She has left you and your family, she sends you nasty texts & uses you to vent, and so why are you flirting with her???
-Blue
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
-Been in the gym nearly everyday, I look as good as I have in ten years. -Playing in 3 sand volleyball leagues -Going out with friends more than I have since I was single -Really focused on work and networking there -Connection with my kids is stronger than it has ever been
Don't get me wrong, I am not, nor have I initiated a conversation with her via voice or text in a week. I've just made the interactions she's initiated a little less business like. Example, we had to stop over to her house to get something for S15. She made a joke that she would turn the camera on so I wouldn't steal something. I just replied and said, 'sweet, the threat of getting caught always makes it better'. Nothing more than that.
Me: 38 y/o W: 38 y/o Together: 10 yrs Married: 7 yrs S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15) WBD: Sep '15 W's EA confirmed Oct'15 W Filed Dec '15 Personal awakening Mar'16
Definitely was able to be more focused on the kids this weekend, despite W's frequent contacts. My bond with them is getting much deeper and stronger than I realized it could be.
Me: 38 y/o W: 38 y/o Together: 10 yrs Married: 7 yrs S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15) WBD: Sep '15 W's EA confirmed Oct'15 W Filed Dec '15 Personal awakening Mar'16
That is a very strongly positive development for you and your children. Keep up the good work, CRW.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Well, things just took a massive turn for the worst. Got this text from her:
Look, each time you drop the kids off, i feel like you are dragging things out and I think it's for your benefit. It is hurting them and me to see them like that. They were both happy to be home until you start repeating...ok daddy is leaving now, over and over. I feel like it makes you feel good to see them upset over you leaving. When i left your house Friday, Rowan was crying at the door. I didn't turn around, i didn't pick him up, i left. Because i knew that is what needed to be done. From here on out. You can hand them over at the door. No need to linger. It is upsetting that i need to continue to remind you this is about them not you or me. We have to come to a balance with the way things are. This is life now. My life, your life, their life. It is time to accept that and move on figuring out that balance. Got it?
Me: 38 y/o W: 38 y/o Together: 10 yrs Married: 7 yrs S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15) WBD: Sep '15 W's EA confirmed Oct'15 W Filed Dec '15 Personal awakening Mar'16
My advice and please take it for what it's worth, say your goodbyes in the car, watch them walk in the door, give them a quick wave and drive away. No need to walk them to the door, I could be wrong but most likely you're doing so to have interaction with the W. You don't need that right now. She is clearly telling you what she wants, give it to her see if after a while she starts to wonder why you don't come to the door with them anymore.
