I'm sorry to read that the ow and her kids are living w/your h. Maybe this will help "the lust" bloom to sag and reality to set in. The fantasy of the "affair" is over and done with. At this time, you don't know what the future will hold, but who knows...he may wake up down the road and want to reconcile and ultimately you will be the one to decide yes or no on that...but again...that's a long way down the road, if ever.
As for background checks, you will not be the only one interviewed. You will need to be honest and advise them that you are separated and soon to be divorced. I find it interesting that they want to speak to the spouse. When I have background checks done, they talk to the neighbors, people I work with and my references because they know spouses will lie or tend to color things a bit, especially if they are separated.
So, if they come out and ask you about abuse, drinking and driving...you can honestly state that you do not know what he is doing since he's not lived w/you for quite some time. In the past, he enjoyed a drink or two and then leave it at that. If they ask about abuse, you can honestly say he has a temper and needs to let off steam. You do not need to elaborate unless they ask more to the point questions...but keep in mind, they will be speaking to others as well to determine whether he's going to work out for the company or not. They will also check for arrest records as well.
Be as honest as you can be without coming out and lying...this isn't being spiteful. They want to know what type of employee he is before hiring him. They don't want someone who will be a liability for their company.
Yes, I agree was am happy they are living together. It is finally reality. And he has to live with her kids full time. He is not very accommodating so others children.
This is a background check for Fire fighter/Paramedic. It is very extensive 200+ questions, lie detector and interviews with friends, family etc.
Thank you for your advise, I will keep in mind and do my best.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
